One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
