Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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