Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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