fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
