I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
