My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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