I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
