Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
