Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
