it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
