Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
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I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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