he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
