Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
