Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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