I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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