It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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