Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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