i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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