Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
