i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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