I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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