I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
