You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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