accomplished twins. life is a go
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize