I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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