Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
