just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
