is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
