there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
