i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
