i think my tv is drunk
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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