Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
