kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
