Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Randomize
