you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
