im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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