She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
