my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize