Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize