'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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