So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
