God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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