Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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