Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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