Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
