That's intense
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
