I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
