All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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