we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
