yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
