so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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