One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize