He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
