He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
