were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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