I hope mine doesn't look like that
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Send help, water and tortillas.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
