She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
