i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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